Santa's Elves don't make this unique brand of crap.  
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Turkey Lover Sandwich
This is the greatest sandwich on the face of the earth and there is really only 1 or 2 days a year when you can enjoy one easily.  I am going to give you the recipe.  No charge.  Honest, I am going to let you know how to make a turkey lover sandwich absolutely free.

Take a big, delicious roll (or toasted bread if you have it.  Put on Mayo (or miracle whip or nothing), add a layer of stuffing.  (I know, that step is blowing your mind), then a bunch of sliced turkey (white and dark for me), finally put some cranberry sauce on top.  

OK, so I have just suggested that you make a sandwich using two completely unconventional condiments.   Stuffing and cranberry sauce do not go on a sandwich.  

Here is how I learned to make this sandwich.  When I went off to college, my Mom bought a restaurant.  The restaurant did two things.  They made this freaking sandwich and they made homemade ice cream.  They sold a lot of both and my Mom put me through college.  

So, in summary, adding two unconventional condiments to a sandwich put me through college.  So why don't you try it.  Huh?